Wednesday, April 07, 2010

This is New York City..........

This season of The Real Housewives of New York City might be a little bit sad, but it is miles better than the OC, so I cannot complain.

I haven’t been in the mood for full on recaps. They do feel a bit useless at times. Instead, I am going to just run down a few thoughts on all the ladies.

1. Ramona – She admits that she needs an IV of pinot grigio. It would have been funny, except it was so sad. That lady is a druuunk. (Which is fine. Aren’t we all? Just handle yourself. Gawd.) One glass and she will say anything she wants because “That’s who I am! I tell it like it is!”

Who told these ladies it was ok to tell anyone anything that is on their minds? It is rude. Ramona is rude and her eyes are out of control. And the sparkly cross jewelry? I cannot handle the WASP-iness. Please stop.
I thought my husband drank a lot of pinot grigio, and he does, (shut.up.) but Ramona really takes the cake. In good news, drunk Ramona makes for good TV, so I assume Bravo will keep her veins pumping with sweet, sweet, Cavit.

 Where is the pinot grigio?!

2. Kelly – Where to begin? Playboy…who cares. She really likes to discuss it and it has completely defined her this season. I would love to read the interview just to see what the reporter was able to pull from all her hair flipping and giggling. The best was when she admitted that she doesn’t read – no shit. At least she didn’t pull a Sarah Palin and pretend to be well read.

Other than the Playboy stuff, Kelly has been pretty tame. She is still an idiot. I think she might have a speech impediment or a brain impediment that slows down her speech, or something. I can’t quite figure it out.
My one beef with her (pun intended) is when she was asked if she was a vegetarian and her response was, “No! I am from the Midwest. Meat and Potatoes.”  I hate when people say this!

I am from the Midwest and I did not just eat meat and potatoes my whole life. She makes it sound like we all sit around in straw hats and burlap sacks sucking back bowls of Hormel. That might be the way her family does it, but not mine.

Just say “No, I eat meat.” Don’t throw in “Meat! Potatoes! Midwest! Yuuuuum!” I guess this is where her brain impediment holds her back.

I know it's just a bad picture, but can't you just see the brain impediment?

3. Lulu – Well, Mrs. Countess is now Ms. Countess and lives in the Hamptons. She is looking for a teeny tiny little place in Manhattan because she misses the social life she had there.  Lu has always been a woman that I dislike. I can just tell by her mannerisms and the way she speaks that I have worked for her in a past life and despised her the entire time. She is turrible. Just turrible.

I have tried to put my finger on what exactly it is about her that I dislike. This is what I have come up with:
  •  The way she brags about being Native American. I think Native Americans rock, but don’t use it to your advantage.
  • On the flip side, she pretends to be so European because she was betrothed to a European for several years. What are you Miss Lulu?! Whatever is “in” in the moment is what you are.
  • She thinks her use of scattered French words makes her sound classy. It does the exact opposite.
  • “Daaaahhhhling”
  • Anyone who has to talk about how polite and classy they are is just the opposite.
  • The way her eyes bulged in excitement when her daughter told her that her 14 year old friend think she is a MILF.
  • That scene from last season when she went to the boys and girls club of America and played basketball with the girls, then asked them what they wanted to be “Actor? Singer? Athlete?” Everything about that scene made me want to die. (I don’t remember if that’s exactly what happened, but it was basically that bad.)
So, just those few things are why I don’t like her.  (I have more, but you are probably already bored.)

4. Bethenny and Jill – (I am combining these two because they broke up.)

Here is my take on it….we all have (or maybe had) a friend that was the fun, single girl. One day, fun single girl gets a boyfriend. An actual boyfriend, not just some guy she stalks and labels as her boyfriend. When this happens, fun friend spends every waking moment with new boyfriend and has no time for any of her friends.
One day, fun single girl realizes that she doesn’t need to leave her old life in order to have the boyfriend and she attempts to call all those old friends again. A mature friend would happily start up the friendship again. An immature friend would do no such thing.

In fairness to Bethenny, her career also took off and I am sure she was really busy.

In fairness to Jill, it does suck when a good friend gets stuck up her new boyfriend’s ass. But, you realize that’s all it is and move on. You don’t freak out over one snarky voice mail (I am sure Bethenny has left snarkier voice mails…she’s just so snarky).

The thing about Bethenny not caring if Bobby has cancer is bull shit. Bethenny cares, she just didn’t lie in Jill’s bed all summer canoodling her so in Jill’s mind she doesn’t care.

I think Jill has a different idea of what should happen and in her “world,” all of the happenings of errybody should revolve around her.

I used to love JZ. Now, I kind of hate her. And, I used to love Bethenny, now I kind of hate her too.  And Lulu just lurves all of this. She is all about the gossip and listening in on Beth’s phone calls. During that scene, I could almost see her little devil horns popping out and her eyes swirling around in delight.

I am on neither team.

5. I nearly forgot about Alex. She is such an afterthought. Right now, she’s probably my favorite, but what is this new “day gay” all about? Did Simon and Alex put an ad on Craigslist or something?
“Wanted (Brooklyn, $250 a week!): One day gay to accompany us to parties and afternoon cocktails. Must dress like a hot mess. Must not mind creepy winks form husband, shopping for overpriced, young hip designer clothing, or pseudo-French children climbing up his legs.”

Srsly, they must have found that guy through a Craigslist ad…the same way they found each other. (True story!)

I love the NYC gals. They are so much less depressing than the OC women. What is it about the OC that is so depressing? (I don’t want to offend any OC readers, so I won’t go there, but you must admit, Bravo does not paint a pretty picture.)

In the words of Kelly Bensimon, “This is New York City. New.York.City.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself.


  1. Love this post. I haven't been feeling much like full recaps either. I have to say that you hit the nails on every one of their heads. Ughh Luanne and Kelly, now Jill I am not liking either. Still like Bethenny except she is on a rampage with confrontation. Ramona makes me laugh because she is CRAZY!!! Anytime they show her dancing it just makes it that much better. Great post.

  2. Hehe this post cracked me up! We just moved and we haven't tranferred our cable yet, so I have been missing all the housewives shows. I have definantly been surviving without them, but I really enjoyed reading your update. I love the way you write :)


thank you so much for your comment! i read and enjoy each and every one :).

Designed by Jackie Ayr