The Real Housewives are Real Addicting

Last night I watched three hours of the Real Housewives (don't judge). I watched parts 1 and 2 of the The Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion Show and the new episode of The Real Housewives of New York City.

Unfortunately, Lynne's new face cannot make a "blowing a kiss" expression.

Here are my thoughts:

1. Tamra was right on when she said that Alexis was laying it on a bit thick with all the God stuff.  If you have read my Orange County recaps then you will know how much I hate Alexis.  Jim and Alexis were so smug, I wanted to smack the smirk off Jim's face through his spiky hair.  And that outfit? Straight trash.

Yes, he is that disgusting. No, it wasn't hard to find a disgusting picture of him.  It is all that exists.
2. I am happy for Tamra and her new life.  I am happy she left Simon. I kind of liked her at times during reunion. There I said it.

3. Lynne's face was not worth it and it still looks bad.

Which is the new face? Doesn't she look the same?

4. Frank's hair? Oye. Why do these men think it looks good to have a faux-hawk?

5.  Who wants to bet on how long Gretchen and Slade will last?

6. Gretchen bought Jo's (Slade's ex) music catalog.  So.Dumb.

7. Alexis was so far up Gretchen's ass I could barely see her collagen injected lips.

We are the two best friends that anyone has had!
8.  I fell a little in love with Andy Cohen when he called out Slade on his obviously made up time line.

See that fear in Slade's eyes?  He knows that Andy Cohen knows too much....

9. I wish Andy Cohen would have asked Slade about not paying child support.

10. Thanks be to god that this season of the OC is o-v-e-r!!

The Real Housewives of New York City

1. Bethenny is a bitchy skinny girl.  And a total butterface.

2. Is Bethenny's Jason gay?

3. I love Jill Zarin. I do. Judge me, but I do.  (And I love Bobby Zarin.)

4. Ramona, no you do not look like Cameron Diaz. Not.At.All.

5. Kelly is still clueless, but she didn't do much to make me hate her. (Well, maybe that too short dress she wore to LuAnn's and her huge announcement about posing for Playboy, but who's counting.)

Don't worry Kelly, I will hate you yet!

6. LuAnn is the worst kind of person. She is so into herself and her status, dahling. I cannot stand her.  How much do you think Rosie was paid to visit the de Lesseps in the Hamptons?

7. Bethenny's accusations of LuAnn sleeping around were shocking. I mean, who would sleep with her?  (Must remember to research this new discovery.)

8. There is something about Silex that I like. I am not sure what it is.  I think it's because they are ridiculous in a different way, and I like that about them.

9. Ramona is crazy. Bitch is chachacha craaaazy. (I could put this into every RHofNYC recap.) And she sure likes to dance.


10. I am loving the return of NYC. There is just so much more something?  What is it?  Maybe it's that there is less of a stink of foreclosed homes and bad credit and people like Slade.  Maybe.  Who knows.

2 comments:

  1. Haha! I love it!! I just found this recap hidden here. I love it! I just posted one also. Too tired to get in tune with my inner snarkiness, but you did a fab job. Love, love, love it (as Teresa, NJ) would say.

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG, i'm totally laughing and agreeing with everything said about the OC House Wives! ha ha :) i get suckered in to watching it too...it's like a bad car accident - you just have to look. great review!

    ReplyDelete

thank you so much for your comment! i read and enjoy each and every one :).

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