The other day, a friend asked me if I had watched the Hills yet this season. I told her that I would not be watching it, it’s just too fake and annoying and I was over it…or so I thought. MTV is one powerful addiction.
Last night I flipped through my DVR list and saw the newest Hills episode taped and decided to check it out. Great, now I care what is going to happen with JB/Audrina/Kristin next week. Why MTV? Why do you do this to me?!
Remember when MTV used to show music videos? I don’t. Why bother with music videos when you have nearly conquered the reality show market? I mean, if Bravo burst into flames, MTV would be the clear winner.
My thoughts on this season’s cast of Hills Kids:
Kristin: The bitch is back, or so they say. I don’t think she is all that bitchy. She does look skinnier than when she was on Laguna Beach…she wasn’t fat before, but now she is skinnier. I am not sure how skinny she needs to be. Whatevs, she is much more entertaining than LC.
JB: He’s hot, but gross, but also hot. He is the number one sellout on the Hills. Why? Because he has this, “I am so cool and care about nothing attitude going on.” But really, if you are that cool, you don’t go on the Hills. Siriusly.
Lo: Why is she still on? I think she is just friends with Lauren and Lauren is gone, so she shouldn’t be a main character anymore.
Audrina: She needs to get a grip and get over Justin. At least stop talking about how she is over him. (Audrina’s consistent discussion of JB obviously proves that she is not over him.) Also, calling JB’s friend was an obvious attempt to make him jealous. Really Audrina, don’t be so boring. Lastly, her hair looked better last season, light hair just does not look good on her.
Stephanie: Who is this? This cannot be the same person that played Stephanie last season. Did they do one of those classic Soap Opera switches? Like, one day it’s Bo and Billie, and the next day an entire new person is Billie and not a word was said about it? This must have happened with Steph. MTV needs to get the actor back that played Steph last season she was much more believable.
Spencer: He is lame. And horrid. Hate.
Heidi: Well, she wants a baby. Apparently she is lonely and bored (having a job as a reality TV star isn’t very time consuming) and her marriage to Spencer must be awful. How could a marriage to Spencer be anything but awful? So, how to fix this….she will have a baby! Perfect! Babies make everything easier, better, and more fun. (That poor poor not yet conceived baby.)
Brody: It was his birthday party this week, and he is soooo old! 26! Oh my gawd.
Stacie the Bartender: Why? Why is she playing Kristin’s bestie? Does Kristin not have any actual friends, or even acquaintances, to play her friend on the Hills? STB is a sad case, whoring herself to a reality show. Maybe MTV was trying to save money and instead of casting someone else to be Kristin’s playmate, they just threw STB in there. Probably the worst thing about her is that she likes to drink leftover drinks from the night before. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, was she doing?! Was this an attempt by MTV to stir up some potential drama? Or, is STB just practicing for work? Trying to kill a hangover? It was not pretty. Kristin made a face when she saw the drink, but instead of discussing it, they just discussed Justin Bobby, of course.
Frankie: He never changes. I wonder if MTV even pays him, or if he volunteers for this crap?
The little boy that lives next door to Heidi and Spencer: Weird, and definitely not the best child actor I have ever seen (but he is cute). Though, I did laugh when he recited Speidi’s “gate code.” See, this is what is wrong…MTV is paying Speidi so much that they can afford to have a house in Hollywood with a “gate code.”
That’s everyone. Brody’s mom did make a guest appearance and it served as a shining example of what these women will turn into one day. Drunk, deflated, leathery women wearing too tight, too short turquoise dresses.
I hate what this show does to me. I hate that MTV can suck me in repeatedly. I cannot wait until next week!